Kedu; A fictional article

Sorry if I don’t ask ‘how are you?’ anymore

I’m sorry I don’t even bother to say, ‘I’m fine and you?’ when you ask first.

I am quick to anger these days, and I make you wonder what you did wrong.

Mabinu.

When you say, ‘kedu’, I don’t smile and answer ‘odimma’ anymore. What’s there to smile about?

And when you ask me to tell you something, I get irritated and ask you if you don’t have a shirt to iron or a form to complete.

It’s not you, it’s me.

When we pray, we’d often ask God to preserve our wonder and keep our smile. I think I didn’t shut my eyes tightly enough during those prayers, or maybe I didn’t say my amen loud enough. I have truly forgotten what it means to be wonderful, and these days I need a picture to remind me I once smiled.

I have grown, and it’s been tough. I have realized tales by moonlight will forever be tales, neither of us will get a fairy godmother or a rich beast. The nights seem darker now and the days come with the weight of responsibility. Once, I had reached my back to soothe an itch, my fingers didn’t stop until they were drenched in blood. My sweat sometimes mix with my tears and sting my eyes, but I will always pick this pain I feel over the feeling of nothing for I know the day I start to feel nothing is the day it all begins to end.

So, Chine forgive me when I don’t smile back, and when I don’t put the back of my palm on your face to check if you are well. These days are dealing with your sister. But she will be well.

Ibukunoluwa.